What the hell am I doing?

Ugh, I wish I knew. Last night I was reading a book on architectural business plans. It got me thinking about my career. Then I read V's live journal. Which made me contemplate my life's direction even more. The worst part is after all that crap that I posted about my shitty boss and this shitty job I came to realize why this job is good. Well sort of. Ugh so confusing. Like V said in her blog one second you know what you want to do the next you don't. I go from one extreme to another on a daily basis. I just don't know what I want out of life I guess.

Last night I realized that this job, despite all the ridiculous fucking bullshit I deal with everyday, is good in some ways. Most improtantly it is good for the reason my last job was bad. My last job was at a big firm where I fealt like nothing more than a lil cog in a big machine. I did the same thing every day. I had no impact on how things were done. I simply did what I was told. I wasn't feeling challenged anymore and I wasn't learning anything new. If I was it was too little to satisfy the forward movement of my career. Simply put I was stagnating there.

Now here, I work with 4 other people. I have a first hand look into the actual business of architecture. I see the proposals, I see the budgets, I help manage the projects, I'm the freakin Computer administrator for Christ's sake. I feel the thingsI do make a difference. Oh I get paid more too. :) My boss (although hes a jackass) does sometimes listen to my suggestions and seems to want to make changes to make things better. However those changes aren't always observed and followed through. The other thing is although I am seeing the proposals, budgets, business stuff, etc... They are all horrible. My boss is simply put, one of the worst business men I've ever witnessed. Now most people would say, well how the hell is this job any better at learning the business if the guys a tard fuck at it. AHA! I have an answer for that. If anything I'm learning EXACTLY WHAT NOT TO DO when running an architectural firm.

The other thing is I'm a natural problem solver. I love it. Nothing like the feeling of fixing something thats broke. This place is seriously BROKE. I like the idea of being able to help fix it and reap the benefits. What can I say I must be a glutton for punishment. The way I see it is some day my boss will need to sell this business when he wants to retire. I know thats probably far fetched but hey, anything can happen.

So here's my current plan...
After I get all my ammo ready, which is a shitload of issues clearly written out and itemized, I'm going to request my review. During this review I am going to lay everything out on the table. Here are my requests.

1. That my boss make serious efforts to address each and every one of my issues that I have brought up. This ranges in everything from how he belittles drafting boy to his unproffesionalism to... well you get the idea theres about 12 major issues so far on the list.
2. That I get a serious ass raise to make up for first, putting up with these issues up till now, second, because when I got here I was only to be a draftsman, not practically keeping the company afloat and running the computer/cadd system, and third because I'm underpaid in the first place for just my draftsman duties. When doing the math it comes out to about a 10% raise.
3. This isn't much of a request as much as an ultimatum. If the above requests aren't met satisfactorally I will be looking for another job. Of course I already am looking for one at this point but I'm going to scare the shit out of him and hopefully get him to comply with these issues if I flat out tell him that I'm trying to bail.

So there it is folks, my career plan for at least today. lol. Any comments would be greatly appreciated especially if your familiar with this blog and if you think 10% is high or low to ask for considering the circumstances.